What The Bible Says About Gossip

Two things that I know now about life: one, not everybody in this world will be your biggest fan. Two, I get to choose how I respond to them.

In your life right now, more than likely there is someone who absolutely doesn’t like you. You don’t know why, they probably don’t really know either. All that matters is, at the end of the day, they just don’t like you. So what do you do about it? Do your walls come tumbling down at their harsh words of criticism, or disdain. Do you give into anxiety every time they walk into the room or look your way, or even say hello because you know their every word is marked with passive aggression or hidden meaning? Do you cry after every report of the mean spirited things they say about you?

We read in Matthew 7, that we are to deal with the log in our own eye before we take out the splinter in someone else’s. What comes to mind when I read that is, how can I do better? Maybe that looks like changing the look I give to the mom with the unruly children at the grocery store, because her kids may be way more behaved than mine are 95% of the time, and I simply just caught them in a bad moment.

Maybe it’s changing the words I use to speak about that lady I know who lives down the street when in my limited view, it seems like she’s not making the right decisions for her family – the truth is, I have no idea what journey she’s on. People looked down on the woman who gave her last copper coins as an offering, but Yeshua exalted it above those who gave more because only He knew what was going on within her heart.

It looks like never, under any circumstances speaking ill of another person, or saying things behind their back that I wouldn’t say to their face. You should never be more comfortable talking about a person than you are talking to them. More than that, you shouldn’t let people talk about another person in your presence. Believe me when I say this, the same people that talk to you about someone, will soon be talking about you to someone else.

“You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people…” | Leviticus 19:16

“Talebearer” is translated from the Hebrew râkìyl, which refers to spreading rumors or falsities about someone. It is always used in a negative manner.

“An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire” | Proverbs 16:27

Gossip hurts. There’s a Swahili proverb that says, there’s no such thing as a secret between two people. So, as you speak ill about someone, a small part of you must know that it will somehow get back to them, and that your words will hurt them. So ask yourself, what is it that’s lingering in your heart that is leading you to inflict pain on another person.

“The words of a talebearer [a gossiper] are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” | Proverbs 18:8

Leviticus 19:16: “Do not go about spreading slander among your people.” In the New Testament, we read: “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless” (James 1:26). These are strong words, but according to this verse, the religion of those who slander is worthless!

Let’s follow the words in Ephesians, where Paul tells us how to use our words for the benefit of others.

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” | Ephesians 4:29-32

So instead of a thinly veiled, “Let’s pray for sister Mary Beth, I hear she had to use food stamps at the grocery store last week,” how about you take Mary Beth out to coffee, or bake her a casserole and offer to give her a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. How about instead of stealthily asking, “Do you think brother Jackson has been gambling again, I saw him driving towards the race track last week,”you pray for brother Jackson in your prayer closet, for him be a better man.

If you’ve been on the wrong end of a gossiping tongue, keep your head up. You are not who people say you are, you are who God says you are. Let’s be kind to one another, in this world, we are all each other has.

Dear Lord, I’m so grateful I don’t have to walk around all day trying to figure out who likes me and who doesn’t. I can simply rest in the truth that I am completely and perfectly loved by You. Help me simply live loved today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
– Lysa TerKeurst

What Love Is...

Love isn’t selfish and doesn’t go after it’s own good. Love puts the good of others before itself. Love doesn’t envy, it doesn’t look upon what you have with malice or contempt. It doesn’t lace it’s words and compliments with criticism and subtext. Love celebrates each others victories, even in the midst of it’s hardest moments. Love champions others into greatness, and when the road isn’t clear, like a pillar of light through a dark desert, love leads the way into the Promised Land.

If anyone should know anything about love, it should be us. The ones who belong to the One who is all love. Yahweh, who is referenced over and over for His love and compassion. If we take on the mantle to be his arm of righteousness over the earth, how much more so, should we take on the mantle to be a reflection of His love over the same. How will we recognize Love, if we haven’t taken the time to know Him, to reflect Him, over the people that need it the most.

He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love | 1 John 4:8

Love doesn’t erase people out of it’s life after their useful life is over – love doesn’t use people for their skills or talents and then discard them once their work is done. Love doesn’t shun, love doesn’t alienate and love doesn’t make people feel like they aren’t measuring up. Love is a standard that can only be attained by itself – you love people into love. You don’t hate them, shun them, alienate them, make assumptions about them, gossip about them, slander them in hopes that this behavior will cause them to love you back.

Love is compassion — it’s recognizing that as bad as you’ve got things in life, the person next to you, in one way or another has it worse. It’s recognizing that all the good you have in your life, might just be there because it was intended to be shared. Do you have a mom, dad, sister, brothers, daughters, sons, to sit around the table with and share life with? How about the orphan, or the person who’s family lives a million miles away who doesn’t have that.

Love is patient, it doesn’t keep a record of wrong. Love doesn’t allow things to fester to the point of no return. Love doesn’t blow up in a persons face. Love acknowledges the good twice as much as the bad. Love looks on the heart not the outward appearance. Love doesn’t use, abuse or control. Love will never rain in on your parade or try to steal your spotlight, love will let you have your moment in the sun.

What I Wish I Knew About Courting

The word courting is defined in a lot of different ways by a lot of different people. Some people say courting is the period right before you get engaged. To other people, ourselves included, courting simply meant “dating” with the intention of marriage.

After we met, we knew from pretty early on we wanted to be married, so by the time we ruled out any red flags, and got to know each other and decided to become exclusive, we pretty much determined this would be a courtship, meaning we were working towards marriage.

I’ll be honest, those were some of the best days ever, but as we continued to grow in our relationship, I realized I was experiencing a lot of unchartered territory. I’ve been on the outside looking in to many relationships, and wouldn’t you agree, what happens is, we’ll see the couple meet, then we’ll get the highlight reel of the cute dates they went on, then we’ll skip forward to the engagement ring picture, then we’ll get our invitations in the mail.

There was a lot of in-between stuff I was experiencing that I wish people had told me how to deal with and what to expect. This is one reason I’m excited about us starting this blog when we did. I know we haven’t been through a lot, and this is by no means an advice blog, but we hope to share what we’re learning, both as a reference to our future selves and to help the couples coming after us to know what road bumps are up ahead.

The number one thing I wish someone had told me about courting was that there was a lot of choosing involved. The truth is that on the other side of every happy couple, is a history marked with long conversations, vulnerable moments, hard moments, mistakes, disappointments, disagreements, and a lot of other things that you wouldn’t see through the click of a camera.

How you deal with those moments is what determines your destiny. You may have found the best, most compatible partner in the world, but even in the best of relationships, you have to learn how to speak each other’s language and work towards oneness. In our case, it’s literally 25 years of my life experience, meeting 26 years of a completely different life experience, and trying to merge 51 years of life experience into one. That’s hard! But, I’ll also say, like so many others before, it’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Courting is an amazing time to practice choosing each other in the hard times, and the fact that you can both leave at any moment adds to that challenge, and to the growth. The other alternative if you don’t learn how to do this now, is that you’ll have to learn in marriage, when there is no out.

If you’ve found the one whom your soul loves, and they love you back and you decide to go for it, remember to choose each other when the choosing’s not easy. Even if your roads end up leading to different places, the experience will be invaluable.