Despite this being the best week ever, I had to walk through an incredibly hard, disappointing moment yesterday, closing out a 15 month season of really good, but really challenging moments, that definitely did not end the way I expected. I guess there’s a lesson here in managing your expectations. I figured I would interrupt “love week” and write really in that moment, because sometimes really crappy things happen in the middle of really amazing things, and we get to choose how we respond to them. So hopefully something good comes out of this post, and the timing of it, that’ll be encouraging to you guys!
Harden || Strengthen
Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams. | Unknown
A core value that I’ve always tried to live out is to not let situations that have hurt me in the past, change the lens through which I view the future. But the mistake I made in that, is going in with the same happy-go-lucky attitude, instead of letting those situations strengthen me. Notice I didn’t say harden, but strengthen.
Disappointing moments should strengthen our resolve to do better, to be better, to not treat people the same way we were treated. Not only that, it should strengthen the esteem we have for ourselves, strengthen the value we have over ourselves, and over other people. Our goal is that we’re better from the disappointment, not worse off for it.
Building Up Walls || Setting Boundaries
It’s so easy to let a hurtful situation push you towards building up walls around you to protect yourself. Here’s the thing that a well constructed wall will do: keep the bad people out, keep the good people out, and keep you locked in. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to settle for 1/3, especially when it means taking myself from a place of freedom into a place of fear.
Boundaries on the other hand, are highly permeable. No one is stuck inside who doesn’t deserve to be, no one is stuck outside who doesn’t deserve to be, and most importantly, boundaries give strength to me, because I get to determine who goes where.
Bitterness || Identity
It’s soooo easy to choose bitterness when you’ve been hurt, but I feel like it’s just not worth it. I’m not saying stuff your feelings under the rug. Yes, feel hurt, feel the sadness, feel the anger, feel whatever it is you need to feel in the moment. If you need to take a break, take a break. But, don’t let your feelings become your new normal. If you spend the rest of your life being bitter about something, you’ve kept that thing in your heart, taking up room that something much more worthwhile could have occupied.
Instead, remember who you are. Don’t let other people’s actions, inactions, attitudes or injustice change that. Don’t veer from the person you know in your heart you are. Don’t let their perceptions of you be a louder voice in your head than Yahweh’s. Don’t forget all the value you had to offer, all the hard work you put in, all the sacrifices you made that were genuinely from the heart. Don’t forget the goodness your heart held before you were in this situation, and that it still holds now, if only you take the time to remind yourself.
You have a voice. The biggest thing disappointment should teach you is to never allow yourself to lose your voice. Ever. Your voice is your power, and we are not a powerless people. Repeat after me, “I am powerful.” There is hope. There is so much hope on the horizon. There is so much better coming up ahead. The tide is about to change.
No comments:
Post a Comment