Throughout my life, I’ve been to many different churches – none of which ever lasted long or felt like home. I’ve always had questions about the Bible and how God works. The interesting fact was that no matter how many people I asked questions to, I never received answers that made any sense. Growing up, I understood that there was a supreme being or God or something out there greater than I was, but beyond that, I didn’t know much about religion.
As I grew older… into teen years, my family stopped going to church altogether. Sure every other year or so we’d try a new one, but it never lasted long. I had friends in church who would go to church camps and youth groups etc, and I’d join in still searching for answers. But, I remember getting told to not return to a youth group once as I gave the youth leader such a hard time with all my hundreds of questions. I started feeling like an outcast or loaner of some sort, like I didn’t fit in and like I was the only one not “getting it.”
I graduated, went to college and joined the real world with a factory job. I quickly needed to figure out what kind of man I would be. I didn’t really have good role models growing up, and all I had were examples of what no to be. I got connected to a mentor from a local church, and thought I’d found someone I could look up to, and he led me to a group of friends I considered brothers.
I remember thinking, “This is my ticket to being a great man. This will kick start my relationship with God, set up a bright future for my future family, and provide me with brothers or a support group beyond what I was used to.” Unfortunately, as happens with a lot of susceptible young people, things weren’t as they seemed, and I found myself in the middle of a world I had no control over.
Life seemed good, until I made a friend in college who went to an Apostolic Pentecostal Church. My friend told me that all the questions I had about the Bible and pertaining to God, would be answered and he invited me to check out his church. Again, I became excited to get a chance to become a genuine Christian. A man that would have answers and support to those answers and why they make sense. I built some great relationships there and would meet with the pastor every night. I lasted in this denomination for five years, got baptized there, and grew tremendously in the Word.
In my first year there, I experienced my first miracle, when during a worship session, I felt the Holy Spirit tangibly and got healed of knee pain I’d had for several years following a football injury. Through the kindness of God, I realized, all the lies I had been believing in this other world I had been living in. The Bible was clear about not doing the very things that my “friends” were about. So I ended those relationships. It wasn’t an easy process, but I knew I was in the right place and doing the right thing, because I was finally living out what the Bible says. I felt His strength and peace in such a real way through those very difficult and challenging moments, and I know without a doubt, I would not have made it through without Him.
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. | Jeremiah 29:13
Four or five years down the line, I started really reading the Bible for myself, beyond just taking the bits that we read in church. The Bible is everything I want to live for. I learned more about the Lord than I ever had in my entire life, and I prayed that I would be able to live it out.
I’ve been blessed throughout my life to have some great workmates, and in that season, one of my workmates and I would talk about what God was teaching us and what we were learning in the Word. He gave me Torah resources to go home and check out and invited me over to meet his family and see how they live according to the truth they know. It seemed great, exactly in line with what I was reading and in line with the sources he gave me to check out.
I finally had that moment in life I had always waited for. That moment when I look up and say to myself, I finally have the truth that I will stand on before Yahweh and for my future family. I found an amazing home fellowship with like minded believers who understand truth and the Bible for what it says it is. It’s been such an incredible journey, and I’m grateful for each part of it because it’s led me to where I am now. I finally found what I was looking for.
If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. | James 1:5
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