It's officially 3 weeks to Asher's due date! Ah! Where did all the time go?
One thing I've been struggling with this week is questioning whether or not I've really, fully lived in every second of this pregnancy journey. Looking back, I'm trying so hard to remember the little moments. From finding out we were pregnant in our tiny condo, to 3 months being bed-ridden with morning sickness and dehydration, to seeing him waving and kicking at our first sonogram, to figuring out if I had a baby bump or a muffin top, to feeling those first flutters, to the miracle of Zofran, IV fluids and finally feeling alive again, to being able to get off medication and get my appetite back, to officially popping and realizing I can't see my toes, to acing my glucose and other wellness checks, to AP being shy hiding his face and wiggling his booty and costing us hundreds extra in follow up ultrasounds, to feeling him kick while I sit at my desk at work, to feeling him kick anytime he hears Derek's voice for the first time in the morning and after work, to sitting on the couch or laying in bed and watching my stomach contort in all sorts of shapes while he flips and stretches, to anticipating the unknown every step of the way!
Man, it's been such a great ride! I wouldn't trade the last 9 months for anything! I'm so excited to meet our little guy, but at the same time, I feel sad to leave this season behind. Being pregnant is probably the best gift I've ever received and wow, such a privilege. I don't take any of it for granted. God really knew what He was doing when He created this whole process.
The biggest lesson through it all has been giving up control. We were pretty lucky to pretty much get pregnant the month we decided to try. That's pretty much where our role in this whole thing ended. I remember looking in the mirror and FREAKING out because I didn't know what it would feel like for my stomach to grow. I literally remember asking Derek, "Am I just going to wake up one morning and poof, my body looks 100% different?" And a couple of weeks later, wouldn't you know it, I was washing the dishes, and literally felt my belly button pop out, haha.
Another not so minor freak out is not knowing what labor will feel like, or what it is that makes your water break. In my mind I want some sort of explanation or reason behind it, like, maybe I stood up too fast, maybe I bent down too low, you know...something! But everyone's story is so different and the common thread of it is, there's no way to know, it'll happen when it happens, or it may not even happen at all. My mind can't settle for that. I need to know how!!! I hate being caught unprepared, but again, a lesson in letting go.
Needless to say, this song has been on repeat the last few weeks, and as I prep my hospital playlist. I hope it helps you in whatever you may be going through.
Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you are having fun celebrating with your friends, loved ones or that special someone.
This is our first married, and it's got me feeling all sorts of nostalgic and lovey-dovey. I wasn't planning or expecting to do anything special for Valentines. We had a date night on Saturday and splurged more than we usually do, so I thought that would be it for our celebration, but then Derek decided we should at least go get each other a card.
So I wake up this morning, and find on the dining room table, a card, a box of chocolate, and the best part of it all, was this great letter that was just...great! Derek totally won Valentine's Day this year, hands down. To which he said, "Stop, there's no winning, I just wanted to make it special for you." Gah! He wins even more.
It all got me thinking about how two weeks after we met, I heard a voice telling me, “this is it, this is love.”The only way I can describe that feeling is when you’ve saved up your entire life to go on vacation and see the ocean for the first time. So you finally get to pack your bags, and head out and land on a beach on a beautiful island. You walk to the shore line and wade in, anticipating a gentle caress of the ocean water, but instead, the tides catch you unprepared and knocks you off your feet. It's beautiful and overwhelming and fills you with joy and nervous energy all at the same time.
Until last year, I've never had a boyfriend on Valentine's day & last year we were long-distance, so 2017 was literally my first card and box of chocolate from a boy! So to a certain extent, I have to admit I was a bit incredulous to the possibility that my prayers would be answered when it came to falling in love.We’ve all been there, we make our lists and check them twice, and we think we know and are ready for what’s to come, but you never really know until everything you want hits you in the face. Then, we get a chance to choose whether we’ll open your arms to it, or run away from it.
That moment for me was after I made a mistake, a totally unnecessary mistake born out of a mix of shame and lack of faith. I told a lie of omission, because I didn’t think it would matter. Unfortunately, for something that “didn’t matter”, the guilt of it ate me up inside, because a part of me knew I was falling in love and there was no room for lies or misunderstandings where we were going. So I confessed, and the way that my then-new-boyfriend handled it, and his gracefulness in that moment did it for me, and that’s when I heard that voice — quickly followed by a mini panic attack on my end like, “oh my gosh is this it?! oh my gosh is this it?! oh my gosh this is it!!!!”
I had a great talk with my mentors about how to navigate different seasons in life and they said something that marked me forever. They said, the first thing they look for is a Word from the Lord.
Sometimes we’re placed in situations that require an unshakeable trust in the things that the Father has said to look for in that season. Knowing His word gives momentary things a purpose. If you don’t have a Word from the Lord, get one: ask Him and He’ll find a way to show you.
So here we are standing on the threshold of the rest of the rest of our lives and whatever “it” looks like. I know that we’re still in the “ladida” honeymoon phase of our relationship, but I’m so grateful to know that through good times and bad times, I can lean on His Word over our lives.
One of the first questions we had to figure out while we were getting to know one another was what our beliefs were, our core values and of course, where our home base would be in terms of community and fellowship.
We both felt like we’d done enough church-hopping to where it wasn’t about finding the latest in a line of churches to go to once a week. I feel like in this season, believers are finding the importance of community, and breaking down the barrier between pulpit and congregation, and we wanted to be involved with people that really went after community and made it happen, not just using it as a tagline.
So our eyes quickly shifted from finding a “church” to finding a tribe. We wanted to find a group of people we could invest in not just once or twice a week, but have real friendships we could pull on, exercise leadership, be known and seen and know and see others. A place where our future kids would find history and be set up for life, and where we could potentially see ourselves changing the world from. We envisioned studying the Bible sitting around a fire, with kids around us making s’mores, or road trips to the beach after reading the Scriptures. We pictured sitting around a living room floor sharing testimonies and prayer requests and singing worship songs together. We saw meals around dinner tables celebrating feasts and holidays and birthdays and graduations.
Most importantly, we saw a family of believers gathered around what’s most important – truth of the Word in it’s entirety. Meaning loving and believing everything that God says to be true. Bible-study was one of our hugest priorities, and us being in a culture that emphasized studying the Bible and being priests in our own home, rather than waiting for someone on a stage or pulpit to feed us.
Equally important, if this was going to be a place we’d commit to, we’d have to feel peace about it. Sabbath days are supposed to be days of rest and community, it should recharge us for the rest of the week. So we wouldn’t say yes to a place that left us more exhausted than we were before we got there.
We’re still in the process of finding “it”, and we’ll keep you guys updated, but for now here’s a summary of what to look for while finding a tribe, that we’ve been applying in our lives:
A place that makes community family happen through the week: this could be as simple as an email thread/Facebook group, or shared hobbies or interests, or ways of helping each other out.
Make sure that what is being taught gives an accurate depiction of God (Old and New testament), Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the rest of the Bible.
Worship that glorifies God and not self.
Room to grow – in leadership, service, gifts, callings, knowledge etc.
No gossip, manipulativeness, passive aggression or other “meanness”. Definitely not looking to put ourselves in a position to be taken advantage of, or used. Definitely not looking for any negativity at all in this phase of our lives. We have a lot more to protect.
Peace
How did you find your tribe? Do you have any tips? Share below!
Some days, we need the assurance that it is awesome and expected of us to have great hope and extravagant dreams. God is so faithful to our needs in the now. It may not always feel like it, but this quote by Andy Mason says it all, “God is faithful to fulfill His promises. Keep walking. Steward the testimony. Keep your heart aligned with thanksgiving.”
It’s so easy to doubt this assurance in the middle of a storm and ask why His provision doesn’t look like a grand rescue from the midst of trouble – a surprise check in the mail, an immediate healing from disease or whatever your desire is? In moments like those, I have to keep reminding myself that I would always rather walk through the valley with Him, than on a mountaintop without Him. It’s counter-intuitive to think in the valley moments, that those days are meant not to crush you, but to draw you closer and to teach you a reliance you wouldn’t be able to experience otherwise.
God doesn’t need to toss you in the middle of a valley to teach you to love Him. He’s not manipulative like that. He said that even as we walk through the valley, He will be with us. Though darkness surrounds us, the Light will overcome the darkness.
In these moments, I have learnt to have a big yes. Have a big yes in your heart because a strong yes is your best no. I can’t be in 2 places at the same time. In saying yes and agreeing with the promises of God, I have no room for doubt and fear.
Realize that there is a process involved and God’s promise will be fulfilled. When? That’s up to Him. It may be tomorrow, or it might be like Abraham, who’s been dead for thousands of years but his promise is still being fulfilled today! We don’t know. All we know is that He is good and He is true. All we can do is be faithful with what’s in our hands right now. As much as we’re longing for God’s faithfulness, we have the responsibility to carry faithfulness within us as well.
Hope isn’t ignoring the situation or having blinders on. You have to stay on top of things and be aware of what’s going on. Peter was aware He was in the middle of the sea when he stepped out of the boat. The problem was when his awareness of the sea became bigger than his awareness of Jesus standing in front of him. The more I focus on God, who owns it all in the first place, the better and more focused I am, and the more confident I am that He will come through for me in His Jireh ways.
Sometimes, you just have to be stubborn. You just have to fight for it. You have to put up a fight for your own heart. We all know the truth, we all know in our heads what we should believe. We need to fight to get that truth down to our hearts.
Boldly declare it, roar it out, punch a pillow, pray in tongues, hit some golf balls over a lake, whatever you need to do to get the frustration of doubt out and break down those walls, do it. Personally, I may or may not have, once, taken a tennis racket to my bed and whacked it screaming bloody murder “I HAVE TO SEE JESUS!”…but hey, it worked.
I have to make a statement to myself and to heaven and to all of creation that I believe with a violent force that my God comes through and will come through for me!
We would love to pray for you, so if you’re struggling with doubt or you’re in a valley season, please leave a comment down below. We always respond!
I love December, don't you? The air is cheerier, there's excitement floating around, Christmas is around the corner, twinkling lights and decorations everywhere. Speaking of Christmas, this will be my first white Christmas, so I'm definitely excited about that! I just can't wait to see what the season holds!
Oh man, remember last week when I said how I wasn’t feeling any morning sickness, or anything really and how I wish I was so I could “feel” pregnant…be careful what you ask for. This week has probably been the most physically and emotionally challenging week of my life!
Spotting | Most women experience spotting around the time of their period – it happens for any number of reasons, like implantation bleeding, or just extra fluid with the thickening of the uterine wall. Well, I did not have any spotting during implantation, but we went to play tennis on day 1 of the week, and I guess all that exertion got things moving in there, and I had a little spotting over the next 2 days. It was all totally normal, and in the list of things to expect – I probably did have implantation bleeding, but it just took it’s time making it’s way out. So like I said, totally normal and to be expected – but I was honestly so freaked out. And I think that’s something I’ll save for another blog – fear! I don’t even want to think about that day and how I felt, I think all my anxiety compounded into that one day, and it was just not a good day.
Morning Sickness | The morning all-day sickness has just wreaked havoc on me. The only time I haven’t been nauseous in this first trimester, and when I’ve felt even remotely like myself, is probably four hours between 4 am and 8 am.
And it’s not like being nauseous, then throwing up and feeling better, it’s just that 5 minutes before you’re about to get sick repeated on a loop over and over throughout the day. One night, I was sick all day and night, worse than I’ve EVER felt, and before we went to bed, I told Derek, if I don’t get sick before tomorrow, I’m going to be really surprised. Cut to 3am, I’m in fetal position in bed, I couldn’t sleep and I’m just crying because I just felt so sick, I finally woke my husband up and said, “Babe, I need some help, can you get me the trashcan and some ice water with apple cider vinegar.” I literally felt like if I got up, I would not make it to the bathroom. After drinking the water, and calming down a little, and praying, I finally was able to get some rest, like I said, the only times I can really sleep, like a deep sleep, is between 10pm-2am, and 4am-8am.
I’ve been taking Unisom and Vitamin B6 prescribed by my doctor. I finally had to cave in, and had Derek call the hospital and they told me to go to the ER. So, he had to leave work, and come take me in. I can smile looking back now, but whooo, guys, that was rough! I was pale, and could barely walk and had to get an IV with fluids and medication, etc. etc. But, literally within the hour of the medication starting, I ate a sandwich – you guys, I hadn’t eaten real food (anything apart from rice, smoothies and pineapples) for WEEKS! Needless to say, we got our prescription filled that day.
I hate medicine, and chemicals and the fact that most drugs have a longer list of side-effects than seems worth it, but, I guess, as I’ll learn from motherhood, not everything is in my control. It’s OK to hold on to your standards, but at some point, my stubbornness was preventing me from actually enjoying my pregnancy and being able to nourish my baby. So, I learned from that experience, to let go of my plans and trust that God gave me the wisdom to know what to do moment by moment. I am so thankful that I was able to get some help so I could actually feel alive again.
I am SO thankful for my husband. “In sickness and in health” started literally a month after our wedding and I am SO thankful to have it confirmed so soon that I married way, way up.
Here’s what happened in pregnancy week 3 and 4 🙂
Week 3
“This week, your baby is smaller than a poppy seed. As sperm meets egg, fertilization occurs and your baby-to-be takes form — as a tiny group of cells.” – What To Expect
Feeling semi-nauseous, not sick, but just not myself, and that I’m dragging around an anchor with my chest, lol.
Feeling SUPER tired and sleepy – this may also have something to do with calming down from 3 months of intense wedding planning and 2 weeks of honeymooning/newly-wedding/traveling with my mom.
Something is definitely up and sure enough, 7 tests later, we are officially 3 weeks pregnant! (Baby is 1 week old. Pregnancy is measured from 2 weeks before you’re actually pregnant. Confusing I know.)
Decided not to tell anyone until we were sure, but I ended up telling my mom, Derek told his mom, and our close friend at his job.
*Welcome to earth sweet pea!
Week 4
“Guess what? It’s implantation time! The blastocyst burrows into the uterine lining, then splits to form the placenta and the embryo. The amniotic sac (also called the bag of waters) forms around it, and so does the yolk sac, which will later be incorporated into your baby’s developing digestive tract. The baby is now 3 layers of cells, which will begin to develop into the specialized parts of baby’s body.” | – What To Expect
This week, the nausea all pretty much went away. I guess it was God’s way of letting me know there was a bun in the oven. I think for most women it starts out from week 6-11, so I’m enjoying these peaceful moments, haha!
I’ve been craving healthy food – not sure if that’s a craving, or just the realization that I’m about to gain 15 pounds in the next nine months and I do not want to become a whale. That in addition to making sure everything keeps moving – I hear preggo constipation is no joke! I also started taking my prenatal vitamins & DHA’s a.k.a, baby’s first take-out meal 😀
*Pumpkin, please take all the nutrients you need!
I missed my super regular monthly companion for the first time in my life, so I guess it’s official!
I stood up to go to the bathroom and I thought to myself, “wait didn’t I just go to the bathroom?!” Despite that, I’m still committed to drinking 8 glasses of water a day to keep this babe healthy.
The bloat is real…somehow I passed my husband on the how loud can you get meter. I blame it on the healthy eating! For the record, I firmly believe mine don’t smell 😀
Cramps here, cramps there, cramps everywhere. Oh man, every time we’re in the car driving somewhere, then we get out, I feel like my muscles are stuck together and I’m trying to rip them apart. It is somewhat bearable once you find out it’s a normal part of the process, and you’re not scared out of your mind thinking something is wrong. What To Expect says, “A feeling of pressure in your tummy or even mild cramps without bleeding is very common, especially in first pregnancies, and is usually a sign that everything is going right, not that something’s wrong. What you’re feeling may be the sensation of embryo implantation, increased blood flow, the thickening of the uterine lining or even the growth of your uterus, and it could just be gas pains.” Abdominal cramps are one thing, but the night time leg cramps…OH MY GOSH! My leg cramped up so bad one night I was pretty sure a vein had burst and woke my husband up in the middle of the night to tell him as much! Btw, this is so fun to be going through this right when we started living together, midnight conversations for the win!
At around w4d5, all the symptoms, except for the occasional lower ab muscle tightness pretty much went away, to the point that I had to take another test just to be sure I hadn’t dreamed up the whole thing. Yup, still there. I think after implantation, things kind of lull down and the baby gets to do some of the hard work.
Tried working out, going on an uphill jog, not for even a minute, but I was so winded and out of breath, it felt like I’d just ran a marathon. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I live on top of a mountain, but hey, can’t blame a girl for trying!
Told my best friend, and told more people at Derek’s job…the excitement is real people!
We found out we were pregnant extremely early, right around 3w4d. Fun fact, pregnancy is measured from the day of your last period, not from the day of conception, so technically, at this point the baby was just a week old little ball of cells, lol.
I remember we had just gotten home from honeymooning/playing tourist and all day, I felt weird, like you just ate too much mac n cheese and topped it off with a lime margarita, not that I’ve ever had a margarita but that’s how I felt, lol. I chalked it up to eating too much restaurant food because all we’d done for the 2 weeks after the wedding was go out to dinner almost every night, not to mention having boxes and boxes of leftover cake we still had from the wedding.
Anyway, this feeling didn’t go away, I wasn’t “sick”, I was just not myself, and I’d wake up at 3 in the morning with this feeling. On the second night waking up like this, I woke up and went to find Derek, who was getting ready for work and I told him, “I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant.” And he asked me why I thought so, and said not to worry about it or get too excited because really, there’s no way we’d even be able to tell this early. But I just knew.
I decided to pick up a dollar tree test just to see. And I got a faint pink line.
I always thought when I got pregnant, I would come up with this really cute way of telling my husband and filming his response, and all that cuteness. Yeah, it didn’t quite go like that. I just texted him something like, “Hey, about what we talked about, can you pick up some tests on your way home.” When he got home, I went to meet him in the car, and handed him that test, and he got the biggest smile on his face, and we just sat in the car for almost half an hour processing, kind of being excited, but not really because it was still so early, and we wanted to make sure. We went in and did 2 more tests, and another test on week 5, and another test on week 6, all to make sure I was absolutely positive before I went in to the hospital.
From the very beginning, I felt an instant connection and love for this little one. You can’t even begin to imagine how happy our hearts were and how much love we felt from when this baby was no bigger than the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Can you believe how much God loves us then, because to Him we are just a speck too, and the way we love this baby doesn’t even begin to compare to the way He loves us!
Ahh! I’m so thankful!
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.” | 1 Samuel 1:27
Our hearts have been bursting at the seams over the past few months.
Next Spring, we will be welcoming our first baby to the world!
I know, I can hardly believe it myself! Finding out we were pregnant was a pretty different and incredible experience. This past Mother’s Day, even before we were married, people told us that next Mother’s Day, I’d be a mom, and we’d always joked about it, as had our friends, about having a “honeymoon baby”, and…if you’re reading this, you guys totally spoke it into existence, and I think you owe us college tuition! :-p
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” | James 1:17
Things have definitely been emotional…shock, awe, joy, shock, fear, excitement, shock, thankfulness, excitement. Hahaha, we’ve been feeling all of the emotions. At the end of the day, our hearts have never had more hope in the promises of God as they do now, and God has stretched us and grown us in ways we couldn’t have grown had our journey been different.
It’s so crazy how He knows us, knows our heart’s desire, has a plan for us that is so beyond our capacity to think, dream or imagine. When Derek and I met, God spoke to him about what our relationship would mean, what my family would mean to him, and what role he was going to play in our lives. Getting a front row pass to see God’s Word fulfilled in his life is the best experience in the world.
As for me, I don’t think there’s any role in life I’ve wanted to play more than the role of mom. I remember being 7 years old playing pretend, getting all my dolls dressed up and pretending we were going to Church. All my life I’ve wanted to be Annie Camden from 7th Heaven sitting in the front pew with my babes in tow 😀
Every single moment since that first (of SEVEN!) positive tests, I’ve told God, “You know you didn’t have to do this, but You did.” As women, we know the challenges others have faced to see those pink lines, and it’s not lost on me what a blessing it is for how shockingly quickly this blessing came, when that didn’t have to be the case. I am so thankful that this baby will be there from the very beginning, reminding the two of us everyday of the covenant we made, and of these first days when we were just 2 young crazy kids in love.
I know a lot is to come, the challenges of conquering new terrain: new home, new family, new marriage, new baby, new job, new business, new responsibilities…new, new, new. But this is what God has for us. I have full confidence that He will give me what I need to not only survive, but thrive. Energy, sleep, finances, babysitters, meals, community…there will always be more than enough. Maybe not exactly what we want, when we want it, because then that wouldn’t leave any room for His power, but my core belief is that we will be content, and we shall not be in want.
Psalm 136:3-4 Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever. To Him alone who does great wonders, His love endures forever.
Next post will detail the first few weeks, finding out, symptoms, recommendations etc. 🙂
Finally! I have been waiting for this day for weeks!
I remember calling the hospital when we found out we were pregnant to see how soon I could come in and they said I had to wait until I was 9 weeks along! It felt like torture having to wait for 6 whole weeks!
We got to the clinic, and got all registered and finally got ready to see this person growing in me. As I laid there, in those few seconds while I held my breath waiting to hear a heartbeat, I remembered how I had started getting morning sickness pretty much around the 6th week, and it had gotten worse every week. I remembered the many times, I had laid in bed, feeling miserable, thinking about how I was so not ready to do this, and how much it sucked being sick, and how we didn't have enough money, and we lived in a tiny condo, and we were just not ready, and what were we thinking when we decided to do this? All those questions faded the moment we saw this on the screen!
He was wiggling his hands and feet and I pretty much fell in LOVE! I have never in my life seen anything more precious!
To be 100% honest, my idea of a dream wedding has always been going to some quiet woods, exchanging vows, and coming back to 15 people gathered around a long table, where we would eat dinner and share stories under twinkling lights. I grew up in a culture where the bigger and flashier a wedding, the better. But, the concept never really appealed to me. Long days, long speeches, long lines for the buffet… My husband on the other hand, wanted to have a big wedding, surrounded by as many of the people we love as possible, and he was convinced that I would not be content with as small of a wedding as I claimed I wanted, and said over and over, “You deserve a big wedding!” So we compromised, we could have a small ceremony that felt like us, and be surrounded by the people that love us. Here’s how I went about planning a wedding on a budget.
When we started planning, obviously, you jump into the norm: finding a popular wedding venue, finding a caterer, a baker, a DJ etc. We went in for a wedding cake tasting, and our baker said, “I can bake you cake, and it’ll cost $x, or I can bake you a wedding cake and it’ll cost you $x multiplied by 10. I don’t want to steal your money so I’ll just be upfront with you.” When she said that, I realized when it comes to most things, the word “wedding” tacks on a pretty hefty price change – which to me, made no sense at all. So I started thinking of ways we could save money by looking at our wedding, not as a “wedding”, but as a party celebrating our love – corny, I know, but go with me on this 🙂
Wedding Stationery
From ideas off of Pinterest, I designed all of our stationery and instead of getting them printed at office depot etc, we decided to buy a printer and do it ourselves. We got our printer at Staples on sale for 50% off, in addition to a manager’s special 25% off, and it came with ink already! Derek and I put all the invitations together ourselves. The biggest problem was getting slightly high off the spray adhesive, lol. Oh, an unexpected cost was USPS charging us the cost of a parcel not a letter since the twine created a bulge on the envelope, so we ended up paying 4x more than the cost of sending a letter – warning to future brides!
On the top right is the card we used for inspiration, but for ours, we printed the invites on off-white card stock and attached those on the brown Kraft card stock. We had burlap, lace and twine around it like the picture. On the bottom right is our program which I loved mostly for the flower monogram on top, which I also have printed and hung up in our apartment. I LOVE that monogram!
Dress, Suit and Jewelry
Our close friend, Sheila, sent me a couple of dresses on sale on Amazon, which led to me finding my dream dress, for only $200. My original budget was still, a pretty decent $500, but a week later, Amazon sent me an email and told me it was $50% off. That coupled with an Amazon Gift Card I got as a graduation present from my mentors, I got my dress for a whopping, $75 including shipping and alterations!!! I sent the seller my measurements, and they altered it for free, and it fit to the T!
Derek wore a Joseph A Bank’s suit which was about 10 times the cost of my dress, oh, the irony! But was blessed by his friend who happens to be a store manager there getting him a pretty great discount. I got all my accessories at Claire’s for under $50. We did splurge on engagement/wedding rings, because diamonds ;-D and because we’d wear them forever and hopefully even pass them on to our kids.
Wedding Venue
For a venue, we picked a spot that we both fell in love with since the first time we saw it. Sheila took us to this beach when we were looking for venues, and as soon as we got there, I felt this peace I hadn’t felt anywhere else, and she’ll tell you she remembers me saying, “this is it,” with this glow on my face. It felt surreal. The beach is tucked away and so out of reach, it feels, virtually like a private island. And looking out past the water is about 3 mountain ranges. Anytime we want to get away and relax, this is where we go, so it was a natural choice – best of all, it was FREE! And we got both a woods/forest wedding (which is what I wanted) and a lake wedding (which is what Derek wanted). Another bonus, we didn’t have to spend a ton of money on decor, since all eyes would be on this view… The flowers we did have, we got from Joann’s when they were having their crazy summer sale, which went from 50-70% off.
Cake & Food
Another challenge with cake was with it being an outdoor wedding, buttercream and fondant have a tendency to melt or look goopy, unless they’re in the fridge until right before the ceremony, which was not an option. So I decided to do cupcakes, which I made and frosted myself, since all I do is bake these days, and I’m actually quite good at it, lol. I made the buttercream with extra sugar to help it survive the heat, and ya’ll, even days later the leftover cupcakes were still sitting pretty in their frosting! Win!
I wanted something special for our main cake, and looking on Pinterest, discovered “naked cakes”, where you basically do away with the frosting, and go for more of a rustic looking cake. To make our cake uniquely ours, since Derek and I are such huge Superman fans, he and our friend designed, and used a CNC machine to cut out our Superman cake topper. This was definitely one of my favorite parts of the wedding, because it’s so Derek, and because our friend went through a lot of trouble to get it just right 🙂 Thanks M!
Here’s a closeup of the topper. It says “Mr & Mrs Runyon”
Here you can see our version “naked cake”, plus the cake topper and the rest of the dessert table.
Food was pretty simple, we had a brunch wedding on the hottest day of the year (90 degrees!), so yay for brunch desserts, plenty of sweet treats, fresh fruit, endless drinks supply, sparkling and regular water and buckets of ice! We had so much food, and it was such a blessing for everyone to feel like they could eat as much as they wanted and still have plenty left. We probably spent around a total of $250, including plates and cutlery, feeding 25 adults and 10 children. We also decided to buy plates instead of renting them, because they’d be ours and we could keep them forever.
Later that night, we had a private dinner with just our family at our favorite restaurant in town, and yes, we had speeches – but it was great because it was natural and all came from a place of love. The manager, great guy, knowing it was our wedding, gave us a little more time after closing time and we ended up staying almost half an hour after while the staff was cleaning up. It was great!
Music
Speaking of buy instead of rent, instead of paying thousands of dollars for a DJ and electrical equipment for an outdoor wedding, our biggest purchase was probably buying a $300 amazing bluetooth wireless speaker, which was on sale online for 30% off! I made a playlist of the ceremony songs below, and for the reception, I found a DJ online who had his wedding reception mix from 2015 available to purchase, so with that on my iPod, we had all the music we needed. Another friend volunteered to be in charge of the music, which was basically hitting play.
Our ceremony songs made the wedding for me, because they all mean something to either me or the both of us.
Bridal march:Hope Is The Anthem – Switchfoot (My favorite band of all time, always been my dream to have them playing at my wedding and this song is from their new album which came out just in time for the wedding! The song means so much to me because so much has led up to this point in my life, and in those hard moments, hope is what kept me going…hope is the anthem of my soul!)
Opening prayer:Met By Love – United Pursuit (Definitely wanted to incorporate worship into our wedding, and this song was exactly right, “We can run straight into your arms unafraid, Cuz every time we need you we’re met by love, And we can lift our hands to heaven full of faith, Cuz every time we worship we see your face…”)
Feet washing ceremony:I Do – Mark Willis (The first time Derek sang me this song was in Indiana, pretty much in the moments we realized what was happening between us, and I remember sitting in the car tearing up. Needless to say, this song means a lot, especially to play in this part of the wedding, where we were showing humility to one another and pledging to serve each other forever.”
Pronouncement as husband and wife:Aye: Davido (Had to get in an African song somewhere! Fun story, I begged Derek for weeks for us to dance to this at the wedding. Long story short, Derek danced, I didn’t, he still hasn’t forgiven me. :-p)
Transportation
For transportation, it was perfect timing because we were blessed with having tobeing able to upgrade Derek’s old car, and getting our first new car as a couple, literally 3 days before the wedding. We definitely could not have done it had we made different choices in the wedding planning process. Was it fun to get a surprise bill 3 days before our wedding? No! It definitely did threaten to steal our joy, but God’s timing is so perfect, and guys, He knows things before we even do. I will stand from the rooftops and proclaim that He is always on our side, and His protection firmly rests over his children! We LOVE this car, and it felt like the perfect reward for being frugal and humble in so many areas! It ended up being the perfect car to get driven to the wedding in, and as our get away car, and as our first family car. I am just so thankful. If you need breakthrough, grab that testimony, lol!
Photos & Videos
For photography and videography, we had not one but two of our talented friends offer to do both for us, which was such a major blessing. We’ve seen some of the pictures, they’re coming in slowly but surely, and they look beautiful! Our friend Bill Anthony also did our engagement pictures, and he is the best. If you’re in Northern Idaho, look him up!
Those are the major things I can think of and the things that traditionally cost the most. I can’t say for sure how much we spent on the total wedding, since there’s a bunch of stuff that we bought that we’ll be using for more than the wedding. But I think I can probably estimate that for wedding-only costs, apart from the rings, and including 2 weeks of traveling and eating out with my mom, we probably spent around/under $1500. Hopefully we’ll be traveling to both our home towns/country, to throw a reception for our family that couldn’t make it and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for that 🙂
The cool thing is, we got some crazy deals, but we did not at all go looking for them! We just “happened” to walk into stores or stumble upon items that we already loved, that just “happened” to be on sale! That has me convinced that God had our wedding and all it’s details already planned, and all we did was stumble onto a path He’d already lit up for us. The secret to how we saved money? We just picked the things that are important to us, the things that are special to us, and we started from there. At the end of the day, the things that matter most to you are pretty much the only things you’ll remember about your wedding day anyway, so make them count! I know for us, it was pretty much one of the best days of our lives, and we carry such great moments in our hearts, and we’re so thankful that God ordained this day for us before we even knew it!
