Letting Go

This week I’ve found forgiveness washing over me like a flood. My heart hurt really deeply from some experiences I walked through – what feels like a lifetime ago. I’m talking about real, all you can do is laugh because if you really thought about it, you would start crying and never stop moments.

It was one of those situations, and I’m sure you’ve probably been through it, where you give all you can to a person, a calling, a movement, or whatever’s in front of you, because you believed in it so much, but at the end you feel like all you were met with was rejection, under-appreciation, exclusion and basically every emotion that describes the last things you would want or expect from people you had come to love and serve for a period of time.

It was amazing, and a sweet relief to be able to move away from this situation, and on to something way better, but even across all the miles I trekked relocating, I realized pretty quickly I still carried a lot of hurt, maybe bitterness, and a lot of questions. What did I do wrong? Why did they treat me like that after all I did? Is that really all I deserved? Who does that to someone? Was this experience really worth sacrificing so much for?

One lesson that was apparent, was reevaluating the tendency I have to put people on pedestals. We’re all looking for a hero. So when we catch a glimpse of one, we cling to this image that is in all actuality not true. Our hero can be anything from musicians, artists, pastors, churches, actors, celebrities or even that mom that lives down the street or that you follow on Instagram that seems to have it all together.

The thing to remember is that people are just that – people. Sometimes, most times, broken and in need of a Savior, the same way we are. The danger with putting people on a pedestal is that it’s not fair to us or to them. We end up with this crushing weight of disappointment, and bitterness directed towards something that shouldn’t even have been there in the first place. There’s a reason why Father God, instructs us to keep Him and only Him as first in our lives, to have His opinion matter more than the opinions of man, to worship no other god before Him.

People look at the outward appearance, but He looks at the heart, and try as we might, that’s not a view we’re privy to. So what do we do? We take everything: every new friendship, every new job, every new relationship, every new volunteer opportunity, for me now, it even extends to every new band I listen to and love, and bring it before Him and ask Him to help us see them through His eyes and not our own. Ask Him to help us remember that the only hero we need is Him.

I will admit, it still hurts to think about this past season and that particular experience. It definitely challenged and changed me. It changed how I view people, the church, business, “christian business” — it even changed how I view my career and whether or not marketing is an avenue I want to pursue, but I guess writing this post is my way of releasing as much of the negative emotion and start on the road to recovery, forgiveness and letting go. Let the healing begin 🙂