Some days, we need the assurance that it is awesome and expected of us to have great hope and extravagant dreams. God is so faithful to our needs in the now. It may not always feel like it, but this quote by Andy Mason says it all, “God is faithful to fulfill His promises. Keep walking. Steward the testimony. Keep your heart aligned with thanksgiving.”
It’s so easy to doubt this assurance in the middle of a storm and ask why His provision doesn’t look like a grand rescue from the midst of trouble – a surprise check in the mail, an immediate healing from disease or whatever your desire is? In moments like those, I have to keep reminding myself that I would always rather walk through the valley with Him, than on a mountaintop without Him. It’s counter-intuitive to think in the valley moments, that those days are meant not to crush you, but to draw you closer and to teach you a reliance you wouldn’t be able to experience otherwise.
God doesn’t need to toss you in the middle of a valley to teach you to love Him. He’s not manipulative like that. He said that even as we walk through the valley, He will be with us. Though darkness surrounds us, the Light will overcome the darkness.
In these moments, I have learnt to have a big yes. Have a big yes in your heart because a strong yes is your best no. I can’t be in 2 places at the same time. In saying yes and agreeing with the promises of God, I have no room for doubt and fear.
Realize that there is a process involved and God’s promise will be fulfilled. When? That’s up to Him. It may be tomorrow, or it might be like Abraham, who’s been dead for thousands of years but his promise is still being fulfilled today! We don’t know. All we know is that He is good and He is true. All we can do is be faithful with what’s in our hands right now. As much as we’re longing for God’s faithfulness, we have the responsibility to carry faithfulness within us as well.
Hope isn’t ignoring the situation or having blinders on. You have to stay on top of things and be aware of what’s going on. Peter was aware He was in the middle of the sea when he stepped out of the boat. The problem was when his awareness of the sea became bigger than his awareness of Jesus standing in front of him. The more I focus on God, who owns it all in the first place, the better and more focused I am, and the more confident I am that He will come through for me in His Jireh ways.
Sometimes, you just have to be stubborn. You just have to fight for it. You have to put up a fight for your own heart. We all know the truth, we all know in our heads what we should believe. We need to fight to get that truth down to our hearts.
Boldly declare it, roar it out, punch a pillow, pray in tongues, hit some golf balls over a lake, whatever you need to do to get the frustration of doubt out and break down those walls, do it. Personally, I may or may not have, once, taken a tennis racket to my bed and whacked it screaming bloody murder “I HAVE TO SEE JESUS!”…but hey, it worked.
I have to make a statement to myself and to heaven and to all of creation that I believe with a violent force that my God comes through and will come through for me!
We would love to pray for you, so if you’re struggling with doubt or you’re in a valley season, please leave a comment down below. We always respond!
I love December, don't you? The air is cheerier, there's excitement floating around, Christmas is around the corner, twinkling lights and decorations everywhere. Speaking of Christmas, this will be my first white Christmas, so I'm definitely excited about that! I just can't wait to see what the season holds!
Oh man, remember last week when I said how I wasn’t feeling any morning sickness, or anything really and how I wish I was so I could “feel” pregnant…be careful what you ask for. This week has probably been the most physically and emotionally challenging week of my life!
Spotting | Most women experience spotting around the time of their period – it happens for any number of reasons, like implantation bleeding, or just extra fluid with the thickening of the uterine wall. Well, I did not have any spotting during implantation, but we went to play tennis on day 1 of the week, and I guess all that exertion got things moving in there, and I had a little spotting over the next 2 days. It was all totally normal, and in the list of things to expect – I probably did have implantation bleeding, but it just took it’s time making it’s way out. So like I said, totally normal and to be expected – but I was honestly so freaked out. And I think that’s something I’ll save for another blog – fear! I don’t even want to think about that day and how I felt, I think all my anxiety compounded into that one day, and it was just not a good day.
Morning Sickness | The morning all-day sickness has just wreaked havoc on me. The only time I haven’t been nauseous in this first trimester, and when I’ve felt even remotely like myself, is probably four hours between 4 am and 8 am.
And it’s not like being nauseous, then throwing up and feeling better, it’s just that 5 minutes before you’re about to get sick repeated on a loop over and over throughout the day. One night, I was sick all day and night, worse than I’ve EVER felt, and before we went to bed, I told Derek, if I don’t get sick before tomorrow, I’m going to be really surprised. Cut to 3am, I’m in fetal position in bed, I couldn’t sleep and I’m just crying because I just felt so sick, I finally woke my husband up and said, “Babe, I need some help, can you get me the trashcan and some ice water with apple cider vinegar.” I literally felt like if I got up, I would not make it to the bathroom. After drinking the water, and calming down a little, and praying, I finally was able to get some rest, like I said, the only times I can really sleep, like a deep sleep, is between 10pm-2am, and 4am-8am.
I’ve been taking Unisom and Vitamin B6 prescribed by my doctor. I finally had to cave in, and had Derek call the hospital and they told me to go to the ER. So, he had to leave work, and come take me in. I can smile looking back now, but whooo, guys, that was rough! I was pale, and could barely walk and had to get an IV with fluids and medication, etc. etc. But, literally within the hour of the medication starting, I ate a sandwich – you guys, I hadn’t eaten real food (anything apart from rice, smoothies and pineapples) for WEEKS! Needless to say, we got our prescription filled that day.
I hate medicine, and chemicals and the fact that most drugs have a longer list of side-effects than seems worth it, but, I guess, as I’ll learn from motherhood, not everything is in my control. It’s OK to hold on to your standards, but at some point, my stubbornness was preventing me from actually enjoying my pregnancy and being able to nourish my baby. So, I learned from that experience, to let go of my plans and trust that God gave me the wisdom to know what to do moment by moment. I am so thankful that I was able to get some help so I could actually feel alive again.
I am SO thankful for my husband. “In sickness and in health” started literally a month after our wedding and I am SO thankful to have it confirmed so soon that I married way, way up.
Here’s what happened in pregnancy week 3 and 4 🙂
Week 3
“This week, your baby is smaller than a poppy seed. As sperm meets egg, fertilization occurs and your baby-to-be takes form — as a tiny group of cells.” – What To Expect
Feeling semi-nauseous, not sick, but just not myself, and that I’m dragging around an anchor with my chest, lol.
Feeling SUPER tired and sleepy – this may also have something to do with calming down from 3 months of intense wedding planning and 2 weeks of honeymooning/newly-wedding/traveling with my mom.
Something is definitely up and sure enough, 7 tests later, we are officially 3 weeks pregnant! (Baby is 1 week old. Pregnancy is measured from 2 weeks before you’re actually pregnant. Confusing I know.)
Decided not to tell anyone until we were sure, but I ended up telling my mom, Derek told his mom, and our close friend at his job.
*Welcome to earth sweet pea!
Week 4
“Guess what? It’s implantation time! The blastocyst burrows into the uterine lining, then splits to form the placenta and the embryo. The amniotic sac (also called the bag of waters) forms around it, and so does the yolk sac, which will later be incorporated into your baby’s developing digestive tract. The baby is now 3 layers of cells, which will begin to develop into the specialized parts of baby’s body.” | – What To Expect
This week, the nausea all pretty much went away. I guess it was God’s way of letting me know there was a bun in the oven. I think for most women it starts out from week 6-11, so I’m enjoying these peaceful moments, haha!
I’ve been craving healthy food – not sure if that’s a craving, or just the realization that I’m about to gain 15 pounds in the next nine months and I do not want to become a whale. That in addition to making sure everything keeps moving – I hear preggo constipation is no joke! I also started taking my prenatal vitamins & DHA’s a.k.a, baby’s first take-out meal 😀
*Pumpkin, please take all the nutrients you need!
I missed my super regular monthly companion for the first time in my life, so I guess it’s official!
I stood up to go to the bathroom and I thought to myself, “wait didn’t I just go to the bathroom?!” Despite that, I’m still committed to drinking 8 glasses of water a day to keep this babe healthy.
The bloat is real…somehow I passed my husband on the how loud can you get meter. I blame it on the healthy eating! For the record, I firmly believe mine don’t smell 😀
Cramps here, cramps there, cramps everywhere. Oh man, every time we’re in the car driving somewhere, then we get out, I feel like my muscles are stuck together and I’m trying to rip them apart. It is somewhat bearable once you find out it’s a normal part of the process, and you’re not scared out of your mind thinking something is wrong. What To Expect says, “A feeling of pressure in your tummy or even mild cramps without bleeding is very common, especially in first pregnancies, and is usually a sign that everything is going right, not that something’s wrong. What you’re feeling may be the sensation of embryo implantation, increased blood flow, the thickening of the uterine lining or even the growth of your uterus, and it could just be gas pains.” Abdominal cramps are one thing, but the night time leg cramps…OH MY GOSH! My leg cramped up so bad one night I was pretty sure a vein had burst and woke my husband up in the middle of the night to tell him as much! Btw, this is so fun to be going through this right when we started living together, midnight conversations for the win!
At around w4d5, all the symptoms, except for the occasional lower ab muscle tightness pretty much went away, to the point that I had to take another test just to be sure I hadn’t dreamed up the whole thing. Yup, still there. I think after implantation, things kind of lull down and the baby gets to do some of the hard work.
Tried working out, going on an uphill jog, not for even a minute, but I was so winded and out of breath, it felt like I’d just ran a marathon. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I live on top of a mountain, but hey, can’t blame a girl for trying!
Told my best friend, and told more people at Derek’s job…the excitement is real people!
We found out we were pregnant extremely early, right around 3w4d. Fun fact, pregnancy is measured from the day of your last period, not from the day of conception, so technically, at this point the baby was just a week old little ball of cells, lol.
I remember we had just gotten home from honeymooning/playing tourist and all day, I felt weird, like you just ate too much mac n cheese and topped it off with a lime margarita, not that I’ve ever had a margarita but that’s how I felt, lol. I chalked it up to eating too much restaurant food because all we’d done for the 2 weeks after the wedding was go out to dinner almost every night, not to mention having boxes and boxes of leftover cake we still had from the wedding.
Anyway, this feeling didn’t go away, I wasn’t “sick”, I was just not myself, and I’d wake up at 3 in the morning with this feeling. On the second night waking up like this, I woke up and went to find Derek, who was getting ready for work and I told him, “I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant.” And he asked me why I thought so, and said not to worry about it or get too excited because really, there’s no way we’d even be able to tell this early. But I just knew.
I decided to pick up a dollar tree test just to see. And I got a faint pink line.
I always thought when I got pregnant, I would come up with this really cute way of telling my husband and filming his response, and all that cuteness. Yeah, it didn’t quite go like that. I just texted him something like, “Hey, about what we talked about, can you pick up some tests on your way home.” When he got home, I went to meet him in the car, and handed him that test, and he got the biggest smile on his face, and we just sat in the car for almost half an hour processing, kind of being excited, but not really because it was still so early, and we wanted to make sure. We went in and did 2 more tests, and another test on week 5, and another test on week 6, all to make sure I was absolutely positive before I went in to the hospital.
From the very beginning, I felt an instant connection and love for this little one. You can’t even begin to imagine how happy our hearts were and how much love we felt from when this baby was no bigger than the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Can you believe how much God loves us then, because to Him we are just a speck too, and the way we love this baby doesn’t even begin to compare to the way He loves us!
Ahh! I’m so thankful!
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.” | 1 Samuel 1:27
Our hearts have been bursting at the seams over the past few months.
Next Spring, we will be welcoming our first baby to the world!
I know, I can hardly believe it myself! Finding out we were pregnant was a pretty different and incredible experience. This past Mother’s Day, even before we were married, people told us that next Mother’s Day, I’d be a mom, and we’d always joked about it, as had our friends, about having a “honeymoon baby”, and…if you’re reading this, you guys totally spoke it into existence, and I think you owe us college tuition! :-p
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” | James 1:17
Things have definitely been emotional…shock, awe, joy, shock, fear, excitement, shock, thankfulness, excitement. Hahaha, we’ve been feeling all of the emotions. At the end of the day, our hearts have never had more hope in the promises of God as they do now, and God has stretched us and grown us in ways we couldn’t have grown had our journey been different.
It’s so crazy how He knows us, knows our heart’s desire, has a plan for us that is so beyond our capacity to think, dream or imagine. When Derek and I met, God spoke to him about what our relationship would mean, what my family would mean to him, and what role he was going to play in our lives. Getting a front row pass to see God’s Word fulfilled in his life is the best experience in the world.
As for me, I don’t think there’s any role in life I’ve wanted to play more than the role of mom. I remember being 7 years old playing pretend, getting all my dolls dressed up and pretending we were going to Church. All my life I’ve wanted to be Annie Camden from 7th Heaven sitting in the front pew with my babes in tow 😀
Every single moment since that first (of SEVEN!) positive tests, I’ve told God, “You know you didn’t have to do this, but You did.” As women, we know the challenges others have faced to see those pink lines, and it’s not lost on me what a blessing it is for how shockingly quickly this blessing came, when that didn’t have to be the case. I am so thankful that this baby will be there from the very beginning, reminding the two of us everyday of the covenant we made, and of these first days when we were just 2 young crazy kids in love.
I know a lot is to come, the challenges of conquering new terrain: new home, new family, new marriage, new baby, new job, new business, new responsibilities…new, new, new. But this is what God has for us. I have full confidence that He will give me what I need to not only survive, but thrive. Energy, sleep, finances, babysitters, meals, community…there will always be more than enough. Maybe not exactly what we want, when we want it, because then that wouldn’t leave any room for His power, but my core belief is that we will be content, and we shall not be in want.
Psalm 136:3-4 Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever. To Him alone who does great wonders, His love endures forever.
Next post will detail the first few weeks, finding out, symptoms, recommendations etc. 🙂
Finally! I have been waiting for this day for weeks!
I remember calling the hospital when we found out we were pregnant to see how soon I could come in and they said I had to wait until I was 9 weeks along! It felt like torture having to wait for 6 whole weeks!
We got to the clinic, and got all registered and finally got ready to see this person growing in me. As I laid there, in those few seconds while I held my breath waiting to hear a heartbeat, I remembered how I had started getting morning sickness pretty much around the 6th week, and it had gotten worse every week. I remembered the many times, I had laid in bed, feeling miserable, thinking about how I was so not ready to do this, and how much it sucked being sick, and how we didn't have enough money, and we lived in a tiny condo, and we were just not ready, and what were we thinking when we decided to do this? All those questions faded the moment we saw this on the screen!
He was wiggling his hands and feet and I pretty much fell in LOVE! I have never in my life seen anything more precious!
To be 100% honest, my idea of a dream wedding has always been going to some quiet woods, exchanging vows, and coming back to 15 people gathered around a long table, where we would eat dinner and share stories under twinkling lights. I grew up in a culture where the bigger and flashier a wedding, the better. But, the concept never really appealed to me. Long days, long speeches, long lines for the buffet… My husband on the other hand, wanted to have a big wedding, surrounded by as many of the people we love as possible, and he was convinced that I would not be content with as small of a wedding as I claimed I wanted, and said over and over, “You deserve a big wedding!” So we compromised, we could have a small ceremony that felt like us, and be surrounded by the people that love us. Here’s how I went about planning a wedding on a budget.
When we started planning, obviously, you jump into the norm: finding a popular wedding venue, finding a caterer, a baker, a DJ etc. We went in for a wedding cake tasting, and our baker said, “I can bake you cake, and it’ll cost $x, or I can bake you a wedding cake and it’ll cost you $x multiplied by 10. I don’t want to steal your money so I’ll just be upfront with you.” When she said that, I realized when it comes to most things, the word “wedding” tacks on a pretty hefty price change – which to me, made no sense at all. So I started thinking of ways we could save money by looking at our wedding, not as a “wedding”, but as a party celebrating our love – corny, I know, but go with me on this 🙂
Wedding Stationery
From ideas off of Pinterest, I designed all of our stationery and instead of getting them printed at office depot etc, we decided to buy a printer and do it ourselves. We got our printer at Staples on sale for 50% off, in addition to a manager’s special 25% off, and it came with ink already! Derek and I put all the invitations together ourselves. The biggest problem was getting slightly high off the spray adhesive, lol. Oh, an unexpected cost was USPS charging us the cost of a parcel not a letter since the twine created a bulge on the envelope, so we ended up paying 4x more than the cost of sending a letter – warning to future brides!
On the top right is the card we used for inspiration, but for ours, we printed the invites on off-white card stock and attached those on the brown Kraft card stock. We had burlap, lace and twine around it like the picture. On the bottom right is our program which I loved mostly for the flower monogram on top, which I also have printed and hung up in our apartment. I LOVE that monogram!
Dress, Suit and Jewelry
Our close friend, Sheila, sent me a couple of dresses on sale on Amazon, which led to me finding my dream dress, for only $200. My original budget was still, a pretty decent $500, but a week later, Amazon sent me an email and told me it was $50% off. That coupled with an Amazon Gift Card I got as a graduation present from my mentors, I got my dress for a whopping, $75 including shipping and alterations!!! I sent the seller my measurements, and they altered it for free, and it fit to the T!
Derek wore a Joseph A Bank’s suit which was about 10 times the cost of my dress, oh, the irony! But was blessed by his friend who happens to be a store manager there getting him a pretty great discount. I got all my accessories at Claire’s for under $50. We did splurge on engagement/wedding rings, because diamonds ;-D and because we’d wear them forever and hopefully even pass them on to our kids.
Wedding Venue
For a venue, we picked a spot that we both fell in love with since the first time we saw it. Sheila took us to this beach when we were looking for venues, and as soon as we got there, I felt this peace I hadn’t felt anywhere else, and she’ll tell you she remembers me saying, “this is it,” with this glow on my face. It felt surreal. The beach is tucked away and so out of reach, it feels, virtually like a private island. And looking out past the water is about 3 mountain ranges. Anytime we want to get away and relax, this is where we go, so it was a natural choice – best of all, it was FREE! And we got both a woods/forest wedding (which is what I wanted) and a lake wedding (which is what Derek wanted). Another bonus, we didn’t have to spend a ton of money on decor, since all eyes would be on this view… The flowers we did have, we got from Joann’s when they were having their crazy summer sale, which went from 50-70% off.
Cake & Food
Another challenge with cake was with it being an outdoor wedding, buttercream and fondant have a tendency to melt or look goopy, unless they’re in the fridge until right before the ceremony, which was not an option. So I decided to do cupcakes, which I made and frosted myself, since all I do is bake these days, and I’m actually quite good at it, lol. I made the buttercream with extra sugar to help it survive the heat, and ya’ll, even days later the leftover cupcakes were still sitting pretty in their frosting! Win!
I wanted something special for our main cake, and looking on Pinterest, discovered “naked cakes”, where you basically do away with the frosting, and go for more of a rustic looking cake. To make our cake uniquely ours, since Derek and I are such huge Superman fans, he and our friend designed, and used a CNC machine to cut out our Superman cake topper. This was definitely one of my favorite parts of the wedding, because it’s so Derek, and because our friend went through a lot of trouble to get it just right 🙂 Thanks M!
Here’s a closeup of the topper. It says “Mr & Mrs Runyon”
Here you can see our version “naked cake”, plus the cake topper and the rest of the dessert table.
Food was pretty simple, we had a brunch wedding on the hottest day of the year (90 degrees!), so yay for brunch desserts, plenty of sweet treats, fresh fruit, endless drinks supply, sparkling and regular water and buckets of ice! We had so much food, and it was such a blessing for everyone to feel like they could eat as much as they wanted and still have plenty left. We probably spent around a total of $250, including plates and cutlery, feeding 25 adults and 10 children. We also decided to buy plates instead of renting them, because they’d be ours and we could keep them forever.
Later that night, we had a private dinner with just our family at our favorite restaurant in town, and yes, we had speeches – but it was great because it was natural and all came from a place of love. The manager, great guy, knowing it was our wedding, gave us a little more time after closing time and we ended up staying almost half an hour after while the staff was cleaning up. It was great!
Music
Speaking of buy instead of rent, instead of paying thousands of dollars for a DJ and electrical equipment for an outdoor wedding, our biggest purchase was probably buying a $300 amazing bluetooth wireless speaker, which was on sale online for 30% off! I made a playlist of the ceremony songs below, and for the reception, I found a DJ online who had his wedding reception mix from 2015 available to purchase, so with that on my iPod, we had all the music we needed. Another friend volunteered to be in charge of the music, which was basically hitting play.
Our ceremony songs made the wedding for me, because they all mean something to either me or the both of us.
Bridal march:Hope Is The Anthem – Switchfoot (My favorite band of all time, always been my dream to have them playing at my wedding and this song is from their new album which came out just in time for the wedding! The song means so much to me because so much has led up to this point in my life, and in those hard moments, hope is what kept me going…hope is the anthem of my soul!)
Opening prayer:Met By Love – United Pursuit (Definitely wanted to incorporate worship into our wedding, and this song was exactly right, “We can run straight into your arms unafraid, Cuz every time we need you we’re met by love, And we can lift our hands to heaven full of faith, Cuz every time we worship we see your face…”)
Feet washing ceremony:I Do – Mark Willis (The first time Derek sang me this song was in Indiana, pretty much in the moments we realized what was happening between us, and I remember sitting in the car tearing up. Needless to say, this song means a lot, especially to play in this part of the wedding, where we were showing humility to one another and pledging to serve each other forever.”
Pronouncement as husband and wife:Aye: Davido (Had to get in an African song somewhere! Fun story, I begged Derek for weeks for us to dance to this at the wedding. Long story short, Derek danced, I didn’t, he still hasn’t forgiven me. :-p)
Transportation
For transportation, it was perfect timing because we were blessed with having tobeing able to upgrade Derek’s old car, and getting our first new car as a couple, literally 3 days before the wedding. We definitely could not have done it had we made different choices in the wedding planning process. Was it fun to get a surprise bill 3 days before our wedding? No! It definitely did threaten to steal our joy, but God’s timing is so perfect, and guys, He knows things before we even do. I will stand from the rooftops and proclaim that He is always on our side, and His protection firmly rests over his children! We LOVE this car, and it felt like the perfect reward for being frugal and humble in so many areas! It ended up being the perfect car to get driven to the wedding in, and as our get away car, and as our first family car. I am just so thankful. If you need breakthrough, grab that testimony, lol!
Photos & Videos
For photography and videography, we had not one but two of our talented friends offer to do both for us, which was such a major blessing. We’ve seen some of the pictures, they’re coming in slowly but surely, and they look beautiful! Our friend Bill Anthony also did our engagement pictures, and he is the best. If you’re in Northern Idaho, look him up!
Those are the major things I can think of and the things that traditionally cost the most. I can’t say for sure how much we spent on the total wedding, since there’s a bunch of stuff that we bought that we’ll be using for more than the wedding. But I think I can probably estimate that for wedding-only costs, apart from the rings, and including 2 weeks of traveling and eating out with my mom, we probably spent around/under $1500. Hopefully we’ll be traveling to both our home towns/country, to throw a reception for our family that couldn’t make it and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for that 🙂
The cool thing is, we got some crazy deals, but we did not at all go looking for them! We just “happened” to walk into stores or stumble upon items that we already loved, that just “happened” to be on sale! That has me convinced that God had our wedding and all it’s details already planned, and all we did was stumble onto a path He’d already lit up for us. The secret to how we saved money? We just picked the things that are important to us, the things that are special to us, and we started from there. At the end of the day, the things that matter most to you are pretty much the only things you’ll remember about your wedding day anyway, so make them count! I know for us, it was pretty much one of the best days of our lives, and we carry such great moments in our hearts, and we’re so thankful that God ordained this day for us before we even knew it!
We got married this weekend! There’s so much to share about the wedding and the whole planning process, and how we managed to plan an entire wedding WAY under budget! But first, a funny story:
We both wrote out our wedding vows a few weeks to a couple months before our wedding, and on the morning of, we were both so rushed, we ended up forgetting to print our vows out! Who forgets their wedding vows?!!! Lol. And on top of that, Derek’s phone decided to glitch out and switched off right when it was time to read our vows. So we ended up coming up with things to say on the spot.
We ended up reading the original vows to each other later that night, which somehow felt more meaningful, but we figured we would also share them here on the blog too, for everybody who wasn’t able to come, and for us to be able to look back on this and remember.
Derek to Joanne
Joan, I take you to be my wife. I will love you unconditionally and without hesitation, for it is your heart that moves me, your spirit that inspires me, your humor that delights me, and your hand I want to hold for all of our days.
I promise to love you, to always strive to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you when life seems easy and also when times become difficult, when our love is simple, and when things become complicated.
I will love you forever and always. You are so many things to me, and I am sure you will be many more in our life together. No one is perfect, but with all of your strengths and weaknesses, and with all of mine, together we are perfect. You complete me in more ways than I could have thought possible.
I will be the joy of your heart, and I will be the food of your soul. I promise to wash away your tears with my kisses, and hold you with passion. My affection will know no bounds.I promise to love, respect, and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for I know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone.
Joanne to Derek
Derek,
This is maybe the most important thing I’ve ever had to write and I have no idea where to start. How do I begin to tell you and the world, how much you mean to me. I have found the one who my soul loves, and not just my soul, but my mind, my heart, every part of me, has found love in you, in the deepest truest sense.
Every single journey I’ve been on, has led me straight to you, and I can honestly say, I’ve searched the entire world, and haven’t found a man quite like you, or experienced a love anywhere near ours. We’ve shared so much in only a drop of time, but every minute I’ve spent with you has felt like minutes where I fit more and more into God’s plans for my life.
You and I fit, in the weirdest, but the best ways, and share so much in common, it’s obvious from a million miles away, that somehow, some way, He would have had us find each other. The road hasn’t been easy, my life before you, or your life before me, but look where we are now. Our love lays no claim to perfection, there have been obstacles we have needed to cross, but we did it babe, and we’ll continue to do it.
I vow to stand by your side through it all, to be your unwavering shield and support, to defend you in all my power, to be your helper and your best friend. I vow to love you and honor you before all others. Your needs are my concern. I vow to be the wife I was created to be for you, to never shut you out, to always talk to you, to always share with you and to always give of myself to you. I vow to respect your uniqueness, and to help you grow to the highest areas of your potential. I vow to love and take care of you and of our children all the days of my life, and to help you build the home you dreamed of. I vow to be yours forever, for better or worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.
I get emotional even reading these again. Ahh, love! So what to look forward to are: pictures and probably my favorite post to write will be how to plan a wedding under $2000, because I’m super proud of what we accomplished in this planning process! Check back soon!
Two things that I know now about life: one, not everybody in this world will be your biggest fan. Two, I get to choose how I respond to them.
In your life right now, more than likely there is someone who absolutely doesn’t like you. You don’t know why, they probably don’t really know either. All that matters is, at the end of the day, they just don’t like you. So what do you do about it? Do your walls come tumbling down at their harsh words of criticism, or disdain. Do you give into anxiety every time they walk into the room or look your way, or even say hello because you know their every word is marked with passive aggression or hidden meaning? Do you cry after every report of the mean spirited things they say about you?
We read in Matthew 7, that we are to deal with the log in our own eye before we take out the splinter in someone else’s. What comes to mind when I read that is, how can I do better? Maybe that looks like changing the look I give to the mom with the unruly children at the grocery store, because her kids may be way more behaved than mine are 95% of the time, and I simply just caught them in a bad moment.
Maybe it’s changing the words I use to speak about that lady I know who lives down the street when in my limited view, it seems like she’s not making the right decisions for her family – the truth is, I have no idea what journey she’s on. People looked down on the woman who gave her last copper coins as an offering, but Yeshua exalted it above those who gave more because only He knew what was going on within her heart.
It looks like never, under any circumstances speaking ill of another person, or saying things behind their back that I wouldn’t say to their face. You should never be more comfortable talking about a person than you are talking to them. More than that, you shouldn’t let people talk about another person in your presence. Believe me when I say this, the same people that talk to you about someone, will soon be talking about you to someone else.
“You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people…” | Leviticus 19:16
“Talebearer” is translated from the Hebrew râkìyl, which refers to spreading rumors or falsities about someone. It is always used in a negative manner.
“An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire” | Proverbs 16:27
Gossip hurts. There’s a Swahili proverb that says, there’s no such thing as a secret between two people. So, as you speak ill about someone, a small part of you must know that it will somehow get back to them, and that your words will hurt them. So ask yourself, what is it that’s lingering in your heart that is leading you to inflict pain on another person.
“The words of a talebearer [a gossiper] are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” | Proverbs 18:8
Leviticus 19:16: “Do not go about spreading slander among your people.” In the New Testament, we read: “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless” (James 1:26). These are strong words, but according to this verse, the religion of those who slander is worthless!
Let’s follow the words in Ephesians, where Paul tells us how to use our words for the benefit of others.
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” | Ephesians 4:29-32
So instead of a thinly veiled, “Let’s pray for sister Mary Beth, I hear she had to use food stamps at the grocery store last week,” how about you take Mary Beth out to coffee, or bake her a casserole and offer to give her a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. How about instead of stealthily asking, “Do you think brother Jackson has been gambling again, I saw him driving towards the race track last week,”you pray for brother Jackson in your prayer closet, for him be a better man.
If you’ve been on the wrong end of a gossiping tongue, keep your head up. You are not who people say you are, you are who God says you are. Let’s be kind to one another, in this world, we are all each other has.
Dear Lord, I’m so grateful I don’t have to walk around all day trying to figure out who likes me and who doesn’t. I can simply rest in the truth that I am completely and perfectly loved by You. Help me simply live loved today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. – Lysa TerKeurst
This week I’ve found forgiveness washing over me like a flood. My heart hurt really deeply from some experiences I walked through – what feels like a lifetime ago. I’m talking about real, all you can do is laugh because if you really thought about it, you would start crying and never stop moments.
It was one of those situations, and I’m sure you’ve probably been through it, where you give all you can to a person, a calling, a movement, or whatever’s in front of you, because you believed in it so much, but at the end you feel like all you were met with was rejection, under-appreciation, exclusion and basically every emotion that describes the last things you would want or expect from people you had come to love and serve for a period of time.
It was amazing, and a sweet relief to be able to move away from this situation, and on to something way better, but even across all the miles I trekked relocating, I realized pretty quickly I still carried a lot of hurt, maybe bitterness, and a lot of questions. What did I do wrong? Why did they treat me like that after all I did? Is that really all I deserved? Who does that to someone? Was this experience really worth sacrificing so much for?
One lesson that was apparent, was reevaluating the tendency I have to put people on pedestals. We’re all looking for a hero. So when we catch a glimpse of one, we cling to this image that is in all actuality not true. Our hero can be anything from musicians, artists, pastors, churches, actors, celebrities or even that mom that lives down the street or that you follow on Instagram that seems to have it all together.
The thing to remember is that people are just that – people. Sometimes, most times, broken and in need of a Savior, the same way we are. The danger with putting people on a pedestal is that it’s not fair to us or to them. We end up with this crushing weight of disappointment, and bitterness directed towards something that shouldn’t even have been there in the first place. There’s a reason why Father God, instructs us to keep Him and only Him as first in our lives, to have His opinion matter more than the opinions of man, to worship no other god before Him.
People look at the outward appearance, but He looks at the heart, and try as we might, that’s not a view we’re privy to. So what do we do? We take everything: every new friendship, every new job, every new relationship, every new volunteer opportunity, for me now, it even extends to every new band I listen to and love, and bring it before Him and ask Him to help us see them through His eyes and not our own. Ask Him to help us remember that the only hero we need is Him.
I will admit, it still hurts to think about this past season and that particular experience. It definitely challenged and changed me. It changed how I view people, the church, business, “christian business” — it even changed how I view my career and whether or not marketing is an avenue I want to pursue, but I guess writing this post is my way of releasing as much of the negative emotion and start on the road to recovery, forgiveness and letting go. Let the healing begin 🙂
Love isn’t selfish and doesn’t go after it’s own good. Love puts the good of others before itself. Love doesn’t envy, it doesn’t look upon what you have with malice or contempt. It doesn’t lace it’s words and compliments with criticism and subtext. Love celebrates each others victories, even in the midst of it’s hardest moments. Love champions others into greatness, and when the road isn’t clear, like a pillar of light through a dark desert, love leads the way into the Promised Land.
If anyone should know anything about love, it should be us. The ones who belong to the One who is all love. Yahweh, who is referenced over and over for His love and compassion. If we take on the mantle to be his arm of righteousness over the earth, how much more so, should we take on the mantle to be a reflection of His love over the same. How will we recognize Love, if we haven’t taken the time to know Him, to reflect Him, over the people that need it the most.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love | 1 John 4:8
Love doesn’t erase people out of it’s life after their useful life is over – love doesn’t use people for their skills or talents and then discard them once their work is done. Love doesn’t shun, love doesn’t alienate and love doesn’t make people feel like they aren’t measuring up. Love is a standard that can only be attained by itself – you love people into love. You don’t hate them, shun them, alienate them, make assumptions about them, gossip about them, slander them in hopes that this behavior will cause them to love you back.
Love is compassion — it’s recognizing that as bad as you’ve got things in life, the person next to you, in one way or another has it worse. It’s recognizing that all the good you have in your life, might just be there because it was intended to be shared. Do you have a mom, dad, sister, brothers, daughters, sons, to sit around the table with and share life with? How about the orphan, or the person who’s family lives a million miles away who doesn’t have that.
Love is patient, it doesn’t keep a record of wrong. Love doesn’t allow things to fester to the point of no return. Love doesn’t blow up in a persons face. Love acknowledges the good twice as much as the bad. Love looks on the heart not the outward appearance. Love doesn’t use, abuse or control. Love will never rain in on your parade or try to steal your spotlight, love will let you have your moment in the sun.
The love of my life turned 27 yesterday, and it felt like I’d been waiting for this day all my life. Getting a chance to celebrate the life of the person I love most in this world, the person I pledge to love forever daily – what could be more special than that?
On Thursday, we went to shop for some supplies, but I banished Derek to Petco until I was done because I didn’t want him to see what I was buying or where it was from. I got some decorations, and ingredients for some treats I wanted to make for him, and I was set.
On the breakfast menu was french toast, cinnamon rolls, beef bacon and chocolate covered strawberries that I had stayed up all night making, lol, those were mostly for me. Speaking of which, isn’t it awesome being married, because everything they get to enjoy, you get to enjoy right there with them? Lol!
On his birthday, I got up early, made enough food to feed a small army and waited on him to show up for his first surprise – breakfast. I’d told him he’d be just be picking me up to go do something fun, and to text me when he arrived and I’d meet him at the car. So he didn’t know I’d cook or have anything ready at the house. When he got here, I ran downstairs with a little banner that said“Happy Birthday” and told him to come inside, and this was all set up. Plus mood lighting during breakfast, because that’s just how I roll, lol.
Yes I got a husband card, because we’re getting married in less than 40 days!!! 🙂
After breakfast, he opened his card which told him what the rest of the day consisted of, plus some mushy words from me, and then we headed out!
The second surprise was him and I taking a trip to the city, since we haven’t been there together since we moved to our little town. The third surprise was dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and watching Central Intelligence which had just come out, and because Kevin Hart is one of his favorite comedians. That movie is HILARIOUS, we definitely recommend it!
We walked through the city, went into some shops that are definitely worth going back to, including this store, Electric Gentleman, that sells jeans made from real, made in the USA denim, using the same techniques Levis used back in the day before jeans were mass produced. We got a couple of things for the wedding, and got Costco memberships. #adulting
The next day (Saturday) we celebrated Sabbath, by reading our Bibles and going into town to take some pictures and practice working the camera. We caught the tail end of the farmers market, and took a long walk on the beach and watched the boats going by. It was a pretty chill day.
Sunday, we went out to our wedding location with our friends who’ll be photographing the wedding, so we could get some test shots and figure out where the best places to set up for pictures are. You definitely have to figure out the lighting if you’re having an outdoor wedding, especially being at the beach and having minimal shade. After the photo session, I’d arranged a mini birthday-party involving our friends, which we ended up having back at my condo.
Our friends brought some steaks, I made some hamburgers, and we sat around the living room and talked for a couple of hours, it was a really good time. Oh and I made black forest, strawberry cake. It turned out pretty good. I didn’t remember to take a good picture, apart from taking this while I was frosting it, to send to my mom. So for the finished result, use your imagination, lol.
It was opening weekend at the ski resort we live by, so we got to ride the ski lifts to the top of the mountain. There was a lot of food, live music, and so much to see!
Long story short, it was a really great weekend and fingers crossed, I’m pretty sure I’m entering marriage with a surplus of wife points, lol.
Hun,
3 days were barely enough to celebrate who you are, and the impact you make daily in this world. I love you more than words can say.
